Goldilocks.

strictly 18+

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Goldilocks measures and compares sex toys, and we write about them plainly. It's a site for adults. Are you 18 or over?

Your answer lasts until you close the tab. Nothing is stored, and there's no account to make.

Eight workshops. Wildly different ranges.

Most of these are one or two people pouring silicone to order — not factories. What separates them isn't branding, it's range: where a maker starts, how far they go, and how much of it you can actually buy this week.

Every card below draws that range on the same rule, so you can compare them at a glance instead of holding four spec sheets in your head.

The rest of the shelf sorted by how many models we hold

the scale each card is drawn on — girth around

Mr Hankey's Toys

models: 136
sizes: 540
to order: 540
from: $44.95

usually 5.7″–14.3″ around

SquarePeg

models: 92
sizes: 201
in stock: 163
from: $29

usually 4.5″–14.3″ around

Bad Dragon

models: 72
sizes: 341
in stock: 34
from: $75

usually 4.7″–13.3″ around

Sinnovator

models: 55
sizes: 173
in stock: 127
from: $26

usually 5.1″–13.1″ around

Pleasure Forge

models: 42
sizes: 110
in stock: 79
from: $50

usually 4.8″–9.9″ around

Wandering Bard Toys

models: 41
sizes: 167
in stock: 102
from: $40

usually 4.8″–10.8″ around

Strange Bedfellas

models: 40
sizes: 121
in stock: 80
from: $20

usually 4.0″–10.6″ around

Creature Feature Toys

models: 27
sizes: 103
to order: 48
from: $55

usually 4.5″–9.0″ around

Uncover Creations Tentacle Depth Trainer II

Uncover Creations Tentacle Depth Trainer III

Uncover Creations

models: 7
sizes: 24
in stock: 22
from: $65

usually 4.9″–9.4″ around

Ranges show where most of a maker's sizes sit (5th–95th percentile of published max girth), not their single largest novelty — one outlier shouldn't stand in for a whole workshop. Counts are insertable models we hold specs for. Stock is as of our last crawl of each maker's own shop.