Goldilocks measures and compares adult toys. Everything here is written in plain words, and none of it is for under-18s.
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One size, 5.5″ around, drawn to scale from the maker's published figures.
Wider than the page here — scroll the chart sideways for the rest of the range. It's drawn at one fixed scale so every size stays directly comparable.
Shape traced from the maker's own cut-out, drawn from the maker's numbers — 4.3″ around at the widest point of the shaft.Sized to your screen by the card you matched.
Hold any bank card upright against the screen and drag until the outline matches it — every card is 85.6 × 54 mm.
The One Size is 5.5″ around over 6.0″ usable — a girth-to-length ratio of 0.92. Owners who are short on depth filter for a ratio of 1.3 or higher — girth without the length to go with it. This one sits under it.
How we measure →| Maker says maker-published | Owners measured community-measured | |
|---|---|---|
| Usable length | 6.0″ | no owner measurements yet |
| Total length | 8.0″ | no owner measurements yet |
| Mid girth | 4.3″ | no owner measurements yet |
Left column is the maker's own published figure, re-read daily. Right column is owners' calipers — n is how many, and ✓ lands at three independent measurements agreeing within 2mm. Nobody has measured any of these yet — measured yours? here's how →
Fantasy Grovepublishes Shore 00 and Shore A values. Shore number leads the label, and their FAQ carries the most honest maker caveat we found: the label says which silicone formula was poured, not what a home durometer would read, and "the more pigment generally, the more firm a toy may feel."
Also sold split.Fantasy Grove list “00-50 Medium Shaft”, “00-20 Super Soft Base” — one firmness for the shaft, another for the base or knot. Two firmnesses in one toy never collapse to one step on our scale, so we don't place them.
Girth beats the label. Fantasy Grove put it plainly: "a large Chonk in our soft firmness may actually feel the same or a little firmer than a small chonk in medium firmness" — the girth-beats-label rule, stated with a named sculpt.1
Soft mutes texture. The softer the pour, the less of the surface you feel. It's the trade-off behind the question owners ask each other most often when a configurator makes them choose — one we read repeatedly across our own thread corpus, never from a maker. Girthy and smooth points at soft, girthy and heavily textured points at softer still, and firm is what you pick when you want the texture to land.
And a caveat from the maker.The clearest maker statement anywhere that a Shore label is a material claim, not a measurement of the finished toy: "The shore firmness scale… measures firmness in samples of the same shape and size… When we label a toy with a shore firmness… that means that we have poured that toy using the silicone labeled as that firmness from the manufacturer. It does not mean that it will measure as that shore if you test it with a durometer at home."1
No owner has filed a squish report on a Fantasy Grove label yet. At 3 we start printing what they found next to what the maker claims — one pour isn't a finding. File one →
The One Size Hammer of Glory has 6.0″ of usable length and 5.5″ around at its widest, as Fantasy Grove publish it. It measures 8.0″ tip to base, but the base doesn't go in — usable length is the number that matters.
Fantasy Grove say silicone lube will damage it. They name water-based lube as safe. In their words: "Water based lube is the safest option for silicone toys. Do not use silicone lubes with your toy, contact with silicone lube may damage your toy and permanently change the surface texture or make it unsafe for future use." For lube-tube toys it goes further and excludes hybrids too: "use with a water based lube, not a silicone or silicone hybrid lube". Fantasy Grove is the only maker in our set that names surface-texture change as the failure mode — which is exactly the mechanism the r/SexToys consensus points at. Makers genuinely disagree on this one, so a rule you've read on another maker's page may not hold here.
Source — Toy Care — Fantasy Grove
Straight from Fantasy Grove: Water and a toy-friendly soap (they name Dawn); boil 10 minutes or use a 1:10 bleach solution to sanitise. Lube tubes need flushing immediately after use. Wash with water and a toy-friendly soap — "a soap that does not contain silicone. We recommend Dawn dish soap for this." Wash before and after use. To sanitise: boil for 10 minutes, stirring if needed so the toy does not rest against the pot; or use a 1 part bleach to 10 parts water solution. Do not scrub with abrasives, nails or teeth.
Source — Toy Care — Fantasy Grove
Inventory drops — "a pre-decided time where new stock is placed in inventory at once" — announced on socials and in a banner at the top of the homepage, with a one-hour Pre-Shop where listings are visible but not purchasable so you can read them without time pressure. No cart holds: "if a toy is in your cart it can still be purchased by whoever checksout fastest". MTOs (made-to-orders) let you choose model, size and firmness plus a limited set of pour types and colours — deliberately limited so any shop employee can pour them. Their own stated windows — inventory: aim to ship within a week of purchase; USPS domestic 3–7 days; "inventory toys should get to you within two weeks of purchase" and mto: production takes up to 5 weeks, then normal shipping times. Those windows are the maker's own published figures.
Sources — FAQ — Fantasy GroveFAQ — Fantasy GroveFAQ — Fantasy Grove
Not yet. Every number here is a figure published by Fantasy Grove. When three or more owners measure the same point and agree within 2mm, we mark it verified and show the count — nothing on this sculpt has reached that bar.
Structured reviews, community measurements and spec corrections — the checks that catch a wrong number. Log in to add yours.
Reviews, measurements and corrections come from people who own the toy.
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