Goldilocks measures and compares adult toys. Everything here is written in plain words, and none of it is for under-18s.
We remember your answer for this visit only — nothing is stored beyond the session, and no account is needed.
5 sizes, 5.5–11.7″ around, each drawn to scale from the maker's published figures.
Wider than the page here — scroll the chart sideways for the rest of the range. It's drawn at one fixed scale so every size stays directly comparable.
Drawn from the maker's numbers — 7.9″ around at the widest point of the shaft. It's a silhouette, not a photograph: girth positions along the shaft are approximate. The base flare measures 14.5″ around — that's the disc it stands on, not girth you take.Sized to your screen by the card you matched.
Hold any bank card upright against the screen and drag until the outline matches it — every card is 85.6 × 54 mm.
Owners put the comfortable increment at half an inch of circumference per step up, an inch at the very most. Anything wider is where the “I sized up and regretted it” posts come from — girth is the constraint, not length.
The Medium is 7.9″ around over 7.4″ usable — a girth-to-length ratio of 1.07. Owners who are short on depth filter for a ratio of 1.3 or higher — girth without the length to go with it. This one sits under it.
| Maker says maker-published | Owners measured community-measured | |
|---|---|---|
| Usable length | 7.4″ | no owner measurements yet |
| Total length | 9.5″ | no owner measurements yet |
| Head girth | 5.9″ | no owner measurements yet |
| Mid girth | 7.9″ | no owner measurements yet |
| Base girth | 14.5″ | no owner measurements yet |
Left column is the maker's own published figure, re-read daily. Right column is owners' calipers — n is how many, and ✓ lands at three independent measurements agreeing within 2mm. Nobody has measured any of these yet — measured yours? here's how →
Bad Dragonnumbers their own scale — not Shore. BD labels firmness with a bare number in brackets — Extra Soft (2), Soft (3), Medium (5), Firm (8) — and publishes no Shore value anywhere on the store. The number is not a Shore reading on either scale; treating '8' as 8A is the single most common cross-maker mistake in this category (see disputes).
Also sold split.Bad Dragon list “Extra Soft Shaft, Firm Base”, “Med Shaft, Firm Base”, “Soft Shaft, Firm Base”, “Extra Soft Shaft (2 firmness)”, “Med Shaft (5 firmness)”, “Soft Shaft (3 firmness)”, “Firm Base (8 firmness)” — one firmness for the shaft, another for the base or knot. Two firmnesses in one toy never collapse to one step on our scale, so we don't place them.
Girth beats the label. Bad Dragon put it plainly: "Firmness is relative to density. A larger or thicker toy will feel firmer than a smaller, thinner one, even in the same firmness."1
Soft mutes texture. The softer the pour, the less of the surface you feel. It's the trade-off behind the question owners ask each other most often when a configurator makes them choose — one we read repeatedly across our own thread corpus, never from a maker. Girthy and smooth points at soft, girthy and heavily textured points at softer still, and firm is what you pick when you want the texture to land.
No owner has filed a squish report on a Bad Dragon label yet. At 3 we start printing what they found next to what the maker claims — one pour isn't a finding. File one →
The Mini Dallas the Longhorn has 5.0″ of usable length and 5.5″ around at its widest, as Bad Dragon publish it. It measures 6.5″ tip to base, but the base doesn't go in — usable length is the number that matters.
The Small Dallas the Longhorn has 6.2″ of usable length and 6.7″ around at its widest, as Bad Dragon publish it. It measures 8.0″ tip to base, but the base doesn't go in — usable length is the number that matters.
The Medium Dallas the Longhorn has 7.4″ of usable length and 7.9″ around at its widest, as Bad Dragon publish it. It measures 9.5″ tip to base, but the base doesn't go in — usable length is the number that matters.
The Large Dallas the Longhorn has 8.8″ of usable length and 9.2″ around at its widest, as Bad Dragon publish it. It measures 11.2″ tip to base, but the base doesn't go in — usable length is the number that matters.
The Extra Large Dallas the Longhorn has 11.0″ of usable length and 11.7″ around at its widest, as Bad Dragon publish it. It measures 14.0″ tip to base, but the base doesn't go in — usable length is the number that matters.
Bad Dragon offer it in “Extra Soft (2 firmness)”, “Firm (8 firmness)”, “Medium (5 firmness)” and “Soft (3 firmness)”. On our common scale that runs Extra Soft (2 firmness) → ultra soft, Firm (8 firmness) → medium, Medium (5 firmness) → medium and Soft (3 firmness) → soft, each with the source behind it on our firmness table. “Firm (8 firmness)” and “Medium (5 firmness)” land on the same medium step, and that is where the evidence puts them. Firm (8 firmness): reviewer-measured placement. Disputed — Phallophile puts it around 00-80 (i.e. still Shore 00, top of Medium in felt terms); a third-party maker's guide instead calls it A8. We place it at the top of Medium and render both claims. Medium (5 firmness): reviewer-measured placement. Phallophile: BD's medium "test slightly softer than the 00-50 silicones from other makers" — so the bottom of our Medium band, not the middle. Size moves the answer as much as the label does — Bad Dragon say so themselves: "Firmness is relative to density. A larger or thicker toy will feel firmer than a smaller, thinner one, even in the same firmness." Softer silicone also mutes texture, so if you're buying this for what the surface does, firmer keeps more of it. It's also sold split — “Extra Soft Shaft, Firm Base”, “Med Shaft, Firm Base” and “Soft Shaft, Firm Base” among others — one firmness for the shaft, another for the base or knot, so no single step on our scale describes it.
Bad Dragon say silicone lube will damage it. They name water-based and oil-based lube as safe. In their words: "Use a high-quality water-based or oil-based lube. Do not use silicone-based lubes." Bad Dragon states it does not test alternative lubricants and can only recommend its own Cum Lube®; other water- or oil-based lubes are safe to use, but it warns against silicone-based lubricants, baby oil, olive oil, coconut oil, petroleum jelly, lotion, butter, shortening and whipped cream, and against all food-based lubes (they attract insects). It suggests testing anything unfamiliar on a Sample Set disk first. Makers genuinely disagree on this one, so a rule you've read on another maker's page may not hold here.
Straight from Bad Dragon: Toy cleaner or soap and warm water; dishwasher, boiling and a 10% bleach soak are all explicitly allowed. Clean before first use and after every use, dry fully, store in a clean dry place. Toy cleaner or soap and warm water. Dishwasher, boiling, or a 10% bleach soak are all sanctioned by the maker. Clean before the first use as well as after every use.
Bad Dragon offer Dragon Mount™ on some models: A ridged socket moulded into the base. It is Vac-U-Lock™-compatible, so the toy takes standard Vac-U-Lock attachments (harnesses, machines). Bad Dragon offer Suction cup on some models: Not a plastic cup — a concave surface cast into the bottom of the toy. Not available on every model. A suction base also seats in most strap-on harnesses that take a flat base. Check the O-ring you already own before you buy.
Sources — Toy Features — Bad Dragon Help CenterToy Features — Bad Dragon Help Center
Three product classes. Custom toys are poured to your spec after you order; Bad Dragon caps how many it accepts per month to keep the queue short. Inventory toys are pre-made with fixed colour/firmness/features. Flops are pre-made units with disclosed blemishes. Their own stated windows — custom (made-to-order): manufactured and shipped within 5–6 weeks of ordering, inventory (ready-made): usually within a few days and flop: ships the next business day. Those windows are the maker's own published figures.
Sources — Types of Toys and Accessories — Bad Dragon Help CenterEstimated Wait Times — Bad Dragon Help CenterEstimated Wait Times — Bad Dragon Help CenterEstimated Wait Times — Bad Dragon Help CenterTypes of Toys and Accessories — Bad Dragon Help CenterEstimated Wait Times — Bad Dragon Help Center
Not yet. Every number here is a figure published by Bad Dragon. When three or more owners measure the same point and agree within 2mm, we mark it verified and show the count — nothing on this sculpt has reached that bar.
Structured reviews, community measurements and spec corrections — the checks that catch a wrong number. Log in to add yours.
Reviews, measurements and corrections come from people who own the toy.
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